What a girl!

What a girl!
Sept 30th


So here i am once again, and since I'm the one that monitors our website, i realize the importance of these blogs. The big question is, how work related should these be? and man oh man, that is a good question. Our personal lives are what makes us who we are, and in return makes us such a unique company. In my opinion if each of us had all strictly work related blogs, then Andrew, Loc, Steve and myself would all have pretty much the same blog just written differently. To me that seems redundant... So the answer seems clear. Now don't get me wrong,if the word comes from Greg that we need to focus more on just work, then it will be done. but hey, while looking over the analysis software of our website, i found out that my blog has the longest view time so i think I'm doing something right... Or something terribly wrong (lol)...

So me being me, i never really hide much. There is no point to do so. personally think that life is far to serious, so that is why i don't take much serious. Now just like anyone else in the world, i have emotion. I get depressed, i get sad, i get happy, hyper, have ups and downs... but as of recently everything is changing, and it is the best feeling i have ever felt.

In my prior blogs, i always have said I'm going to be the "uncensored one" of HHP, but unfortunately i have to admit that is a lie on this particular blog... I don't want to burn bridges, especially the bridge I'm trying to cross. However i will speak my mind and tell you how I'm feeling. I'm not ashamed of what is going on at all, i just don't want to be the cause of any issues. so no names will be mentioned. alot of people may know exactly whom i am talking about. And oddly enough alot of people are rooting for me on this one... So here we go......

Above where i wrote "that everything is changing" i should first explain myself in more depth. Previously I have had the tendency of being withdrawn for relationships. I would normally just enter them for the conviniece of companionship (sorry x-girlfriend whom i still talk to), not really the companionship itself. I knew with the priors that there was no future. so with those girls i never argued, never fought, i just avoided confrontation. Alot of of my prior relationships actually end with them saying to me "your to nice"... Seriously!!! I hate that line so freaking much, but i would never put up a fight. Why even bother to put effort into something that was pointless. That like making a new Editing program compatible with windows 95... sorry i get off track so easy. anyways..where was i...oh yeah... at the end of most of my relationships my parents where more upset than i was, never really understood that but whatever. The initial shock would be the worst part but 2 days later I'm good. However there was alot of adjusting to do. I was what some people may call jaded in the relationship department.

Then Came #%&^$#@#$%, and everything changed. and when i say everything changed, i mean everything. My hole view on relationships got flipped upside down. As if i have been in the dark for years and just now i found the light switch and flicked it on... and there she is! I became a real affectionate person. constantly holding her as if i never wanted to let her go. Priorily i use to be quiet selfish, i just cared about me, and a few select others. But when !@#$%^&*() came along i don't even think about myself now, i think of us. Its just so new to me... a HUGE Part of me is glowing... i have never felt this way. when we are together I'm just so relaxed, calm and everything is just simple. There is no "he said/she said", there is no jealousy (well on my side...not sure on hers)

The other side of me is scared shitless. I cant play the cool, carefree guy anymore. what if i screw up everything, what if i come off to strong, what if i look like I'm not trying. its a paralyzing feeling! It brings me right back to my chubby Junior High School days. (however i can handle it much better now) It is just so intense I'm sure alot of this doesn't make sense to alot of people, but this is just me opening up... another kinda of crappy part ( depends how you look at it) is i am not sleeping to well lately. i just sit there like a gitty school girl on Christmas Eve. The weird part is i would do anything to keep this going... i guess that isn't weird... Just new to me!


I love you ................................. Call of duty 4 : modern warfare for xbox....seriously reread everything now knowing i was talking about a video game.... OR WAS I?????? lets recap in video game version ..............................................
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What a girl!
Sept 30th


So here i am once again, and since I'm the one that monitors our website, i realize the importance of these blogs. The big question is, how work related should these be? and man oh man, that is a good question. Our personal lives are what makes us who we are, and in return makes us such a unique company. In my opinion if each of us had all strictly work related blogs, then Andrew, Loc, Steve and myself would all have pretty much the same blog just written differently. To me that seems redundant... So the answer seems clear. Now don't get me wrong,if the word comes from Greg that we need to focus more on just work, then it will be done. but hey, while looking over the analysis software of our website, i found out that my blog has the longest view time so i think I'm doing something right... Or something terribly wrong (lol)...

So me being me, i never really hide much. There is no point to do so. personally think that life is far to serious, so that is why i don't take much serious.(People online get way to into COD4, and way to emotional) Now just like anyone else in the world, i have emotion. I get depressed, i get sad, i get happy, hyper, have ups and downs... but as of recently everything is changing, and it is the best feeling i have ever felt. ( I just got a bunch of new gun perks, and downloaded the new level pack and they are awesome)

In my prior blogs, i always have said I'm going to be the "uncensored one" of HHP, but unfortunately i have to admit that is a lie on this particular blog... I don't want to burn bridges, especially the bridge I'm trying to cross. (that's literal, i have to cross the bridge to capture the flag) However i will speak my mind and tell you how I'm feeling. I'm not ashamed of what is going on at all, i just don't want to be the cause of any issues. so no names will be mentioned. alot of people may know exactly whom i am talking about. And oddly enough alot of people are rooting for me on this one... So here we go...... ( Josh routes for me as i kick ass in the warehouse level)

Above where i wrote "that everything is changing" i should first explain myself in more depth. Previously I have had the tendency of being withdrawn for relationships. I would normally just enter them for the convinience of companionship (sorry x-girlfriend whom i still talk to), not really the companionship itself. ( I use to buy a game and play it for a few hours, till COD4 came out) I knew with the priors that there was no future. so with those girls i never argued, never fought, i just avoided confrontation. Alot of of my prior relationships actually end with them saying to me "your to nice"... Seriously!!! ( any other online games i have i usually just stay quiet and in return i get a great user score) I hate that line so freaking much, but i would never put up a fight. Why even bother to put effort into something that was pointless. That like making a new Editing program compatible with windows 95... sorry i get off track so easy. anyways..where was i...oh yeah... at the end of most of my relationships my parents where more upset than i was, never really understood that but whatever. The initial shock would be the worst part but 2 days later I'm good. ( I would be really into a game and the 2 days later i just stop caring) However there was alot of adjusting to do. I was what some people may call jaded in the relationship department. (video game)

Then Came "#%&^$#@#$%4" (callofduty4), and everything changed. and when i say everything changed, i mean everything. (i played it for like 30 days straight) My hole view on relationships got flipped upside down. As if i have been in the dark for years and just now i found the light switch and flicked it on... and there she is! ( boring video games i didn't care about till COD4) I became a real affectionate person. constantly holding her as if i never wanted to let her go.(constantly playing, never putting down the controller) Priorly i use to be quiet selfish, i just cared about me, and a few select others. But when !@#$%^&*() came along i dont even think about myself now, i think of us. ( i always invite people to play it with me cause it so intense on a 42'' hd screen) Its just so new to me... a HUGE Part of me is glowing... i have never felt this way. when we are together I'm just so relaxed, calm and everything is just simple. There is no "he said/she said", there is no jealousy (well on my side...not sure on hers) (that is all literal)

The other side of me is scared shitless. I cant play the cool, carefree guy anymore. (it is a intense game!!!)what if i screw up everything, what if i come off to strong, what if i look like I'm not trying. its a paralysing feeling! ( i dont want to lose a match for my clan) It brings me right back to my chubby Junior High School days. (however i can handle it much better now) (when i was younger i sucked at games) It is just so intense Im sure alot of this doesn't make sense to alot of people, but this is just me opening up... another kinda of crappy part ( depends how you look at it) is i am not sleeping to well lately. i just sit there like a gitty school girl on Christmas Eve. (i play till all hours) The weird part is i would do anything to keep this going... i guess that isn't weird... Just new to me (cant wait till COD5)




MAN I'M GOOD!!!!